He Wants, He Wills, His Will and Our Selfishness

Tonight while working in Ingram lobby I decided I needed to go ahead and type up my answers to the questions in my RA application. I was in the zone when answering them too, the first two questions done in no more than 10 minutes and both about a page long each. The last question was a breeze too, but the third one gave me the most trouble. The main part of the question was what I would hope to do to contribute to the on-campus community. It seemed easy enough at first. Before I realized it though, I was already done and had put the word "I" about 15 times in about two paragraphs. Looking back over it, I noticed my selfishness in the acts "I" was trying to commit and what "I" was going to try to contribute and accomplish and not what God "wanted" to contribute through me and what God was "willing" to do through me.

Yes, I put quotes over those two words, why? Because that is exactly what we fail to realize as Christians in our everyday walk. We believe that because God loves us and we love Him and we do things for Him that He is going to do things through us. We do not see past that. We are blind sometimes to the fact that as Dr. Wilson said in class one day last week "God does not need us" ,period, the end! There is no more! God does not need or have to use us vile creatures of sin and death to fulfill what He wants in this world. The thing I've realized tonight though is God "wants" the world to change for the better. He "wants" the world to come to Him. He "wants" so much for the world to just come back to Him and praise Him. But that does not mean because we are Christians He NEEDS us to do this. He has the awesome power to do it all on His own. But God is "willing" to humble himself daily and give His power to us so that we may do His work on this world. Did you catch that? God gives US HIS POWER!!! We have His power so that we may fulfill what He wants in this world. But on a second note of that is that just because God "wants" to give us His power to do His will does not mean He is "willing" to in every action. Just like the apostle Paul was called to wait and be patient before entering Asia minor God sometimes calls us to wait. He is not "willing" at that very moment to let His power through us be shown.

We are so selfish in this fact we believe that just because we have His power because His Son died and that because we are known as His children we are free to use His power whenever we want to. Sometimes we want to because we know we have the power, but it's not always for His glory, sometimes it's for ours. Just to stand up and say, you know what, "I' have the power of Christ let "me" do this, not that God was "willing" to give us His power so that we may do HIS work. That's exactly what I was subconsciously thinking when writing out my answer to that last question. In my mind I was thinking how great it would be if "I" could do all this to contribute to this campus. It wasn't until I was completely done with my thought I decided to correct my mistake. I had to add in the answer that I was being selfish and that it's not going to be because of me that the contributions change anything it's going to be the awesome power of God through me if it is HIS WILL. Notice the root word of "willing" is "will". God's will will be done when He is willing to give us what He wants to give us. We don't automatically just earn it or get to do it because we are His. He still has Divine authority over us. This is something I have completely missed and am now reiterating to myself tonight during this blog.

God show me what Your will for my life and those around me is. Not only show me though, let me know through the Holy Spirit when You are willing to let me do something about it. Don't let me be stupid and screw something up because I want to be recognized. If I do not listen to the Holy Spirit then through Your power physically or mentally stop me so that I do not ruin something in order to make my name higher above Yours. Let me be able to completely humble myself in knowing it is Your power that You are willing to give me so that I may do Your will, not that because I came to You I deserve Your power to do these things. Give me wisdom and strength to continue striving forward for You. I thank You and praise You. AMEN!